Thursday, November 21, 2013


I used to be that one person everyone looked down upon.
That one person who shuts up cause I don't want other people to judge me.
That one person who hides behind her own shadow.
That one person that was never heard.
That one person who was hated.

I didn't have many friends.
Even if I do, I was not (still am not) sure that they do not speak a single shit about me behind my back.
My looks don't help me either. Pull me down, more like it.
Of course, I couldn't blame anyone.
At that age, everyone befriends the pretty/ handsome ones, cause then they are bound to get more attention.

I was probably just a little nothing.

But thankfully enough, things change.
I met better people. People who are more appreciative, people who are more objective, kinder people, loyal people, happy people.
I got to learn so many things, took part in so many events, I was happy. Genuinely happy.

I felt me.
I felt like I belong.
I felt like I was important.
That I have purpose of living, and not just living because I'm not dead.

I began doing stuffs, trying to leave legacies (although it may fail terribly).
Something I wouldn't even think of previously.

Those were probably, so far, the proudest moments of my life.
I've never felt so much satisfaction.
I've never felt so liberated.

But now, the reason behind this blogpost.
Now that I am in a new situation.
Once again, people start to look down on me.
I, once again, began to feel like a nothing.
I feel like...
I am not me.

Why can't people see what I have in me?
Why can't people see my potential?
Why can't people trust me?
What did I do differently?
I'm the same me.
I proved that already.

It angers me.
Because I know I can do stuffs, but I'm hindered by other's uncertainties.

They don't know what lies beneath my paws.
Probably because most of them don't bother to ask, don't bother to observe.
Those who bothered, can't be bothered about shits.
In the end, I'm back to square one.

I don't know what I should do.
But for now, I just wanna say thank you.
To all those people who underestimate me.
Thank you for that motivation.

I'm determined now.
More than ever.
I will show you what I am capable off.
Watch out for me.

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